I enjoyed reading your blog on marriage, but it always makes me sad and guilty to know that Tom and I can be married while other couples, just as committed, are being excluded due to bigotry.
You are right on about church/state. I believe that marriage is a civil liberty and the government cannot limit that civil liberty to straight couples. Everyone should be allowed a civil marriage. What the churches want to endorse privately is another matter. If we had a system of civil marriage and church marriage, personally I would not get a church marriage in a church that did not permit gays to marry. How Christian is that to arbitrarily excluding a segment of the congregation from receiving a sacrament? I digress...
The really sad part is explaining this to the kids. I always tell them that your are Fr John's* husband and vice versa. I do this, not to hide the injustice of the situation, but so that they don't grow up thinking that "straight" people are more committed than gay people are. Sooner or later I guess I will have to explain the legal facts, although I wish this nation would quickly stop the hypocrisy and institute civil marriage so I don't have to.
Another straight friend emailed:
And there are so many of us who don't see what harm allowing people who love each to marry can bring. What amazes me is the "family values" excuse: Two people love each other and want to be a family, maybe even to bring children into that family -- and a group of clueless people say this is a harm to family values ... Family values are what people who want to get married have. Family values are what people who want to bring children into their lives have. Family values are not a gay or straight prerogative; they have to do with families. WHY this is so threatening to some people is amazing.*John is an Episcopal priest.
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